My Dad Showed Up On Our Doorstep

The supportive housing place doesn't think they can take care of dad anymore. I didn't sleep well last night, maybe got 2 hours (Sunday).  My anxiety is bad. Got the call that he needs to goto emergency.  Left work at 1, my mom came with me. Looks like dad has a UTI.  Hopefully they can give him a bath and get him feeling better. He's currently sleeping.  We've been here since 6 pm and it is now 2 am.  Just had coffee. I don't know what the plan is at this point.

 Today I spoke with my home care representative. And after a month of being monitored at Dad's current living quarters the decision has been made to move him to long-term care. Basically what that means is that they're unable to care for him as well. So within the next two weeks he's going to be moving to long-term care facility. I am able to put him on a list for my preferred home which is going to be very close to our house. He may end up in one spot and then be moved to the one that I want him in basically based on bed availability. It's extremely difficult obviously and very s***** but at least I know that he'll be being taken care of correctly and well. And I won't be having to rush down to his current home all the time when he hasn't showered or he's not eating enough etc.

Going to see Dad tomorrow night.  I'm at my witt's end with the fucking home.  He hasn't showered in almost 2 months.  He has been wearing the same clothes for almost as long.  They call me when he's not eating, or when he hasn't showered.  I had a one day break about a week ago, then got a call, played phone tag and worried for 5 days, finally got a hold of someone just to find out it is the same old story.  I had a conversation with the resident manager, and it looks like "they are going to make a decision in a month about moving him to long term care".   Honest opinion it's not going to happen.  I've been fucked twice already by LTC.  It will be the best thing for him.   The last assessment he had they deemed that he is "right where he is supposed to be".   I'm thinking that in the next month I am going to get calls basically daily.  I honestly think it's their MO to be doing this, waiting to see whose going t...

 In the last day I've had multiple calls from the home.  Typically they leave these really quiet messages that sound very anxious like I need to call right fucking now. I spoke with the home today after spending 20 minutes building myself up to make the call. Dad update:  he's barely eating, looks like hell, refuses to shave, is sleeping often. I attempted to book him in for a haircut but I think he refused. I also believe that he has not let them touch his laundry in months.   I have no idea when he last showered. The last asked me to book an appointment with his doctor. Took me another 20 minutes to call his doc. The office is closed today and tomorrow. Next week I have another assessment for him.  I'm worried he's going to freak out and punch the guy. I will likely have to take a day off work and take him to the doctor.  I'm sure they don't make house calls anymore. The next time a doctor is coming to the home is October. Of course his doctors offic...

Dad isn't doing the best.  He's not showering much.  I received a phone call today saying that he has been refusing to eat.  Which is concerning. I feel like he is on the decline.  He's not participating in many activities and is quite often napping.  He is also hunched over a lot. He is very much making no sense when he talks which is heartbreaking. Who am I kidding the whole thing is heartbreaking. Obviously there is nothing I can do to get him to eat other than maybe bringing him a burger.  Showering was an issue 9 months ago. Next week I have another fucking assessment.  This time it's for moving him into income based supportive housing.  It's preemptive to get him on a list basically. Good news is that I was able to get a subsidy for him at his current location.  It's still expensive but manageable for the next 8 months. If anyone would like to visit him I would suggest to do it sooner rather than later. That being said, do not feel like...

 It seems I'm extending the time between visits to basically three weeks.  I just can't handle it anymore.  I'm very hard on myself and I know that I'm not doing my best.  I'm not caregiving. Nothing has happened with long term care yet.  At some point the money will run out. Maybe it was a bad decision to put him in that place? From what I gather no other place will take him.  Based on his behaviour.  I'm currently on no lists that I know of.   I don't believe he has officially been paneled yet.  Although when it gets done , they back date from the time he started supportive housing. I'm really at a loss.   I have a call in to the funeral home for a meeting next week to arrange things for the future. They called back and I haven't had the ability to call them again.  Nerves I guess? Going to email home care tomorrow and see if there is any news. There is sooooo much I should be doing.  I should be doing what I was do...