My Dad Showed Up On Our Doorstep

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September update

Dad isn't doing the best. He's not showering much. I received a phone call today saying that he has been refusing to eat. Which is concerning. I feel like he is on the decline. He's not participating in many activities and is quite often napping. He is also hunched over a lot. He is very much making no sense when he talks which is heartbreaking. Who am I kidding the whole thing is heartbreaking. Obviously there is nothing I can do to get him to eat other than maybe bringing him a burger. Showering was an issue 9 months ago. Next week I have another fucking assessment. This time it's for moving him into income based supportive housing. It's preemptive to get him on a list basically. Good news is that I was able to get a subsidy for him at his current location. It's still expensive but manageable for the next 8 months. If anyone would like to visit him I would suggest to do it sooner rather than later. That being said, do not feel like you have to go.

Brief update

It seems I'm extending the time between visits to basically three weeks. I just can't handle it anymore. I'm very hard on myself and I know that I'm not doing my best. I'm not caregiving. Nothing has happened with long term care yet. At some point the money will run out. Maybe it was a bad decision to put him in that place? From what I gather no other place will take him. Based on his behaviour. I'm currently on no lists that I know of. I don't believe he has officially been paneled yet. Although when it gets done , they back date from the time he started supportive housing. I'm really at a loss. I have a call in to the funeral home for a meeting next week to arrange things for the future. They called back and I haven't had the ability to call them again. Nerves I guess? Going to email home care tomorrow and see if there is any news. There is sooooo much I should be doing. I should be doing what I was doing when he was here. On the pho

Moving to long term care

I had a meeting with the home yesterday. Dad will be moving to a special unit for long term care in the next few months. Not sure when. I am still on call for the time being, next bad outburst I will have to take him back to the hospital. He's violent and delusional. The pills can only do so much. There is more to this but that is the gist. He Will be assessed again. The sad but good news is that when he moves i will no longer be in charge of his we'll being. He will be with professionals. I met with the bank to move some money around yesterday as well. To keep him a float for a few months. During the conversation with the banker she judged me on the expense of the home, and starting suggesting moving him to a cheaper place. Like it's that easy lady. Honestly pissed me off. Walk a mile. I get it though, it was never supposed to be long term.

April update

Just a quick update. Going to see dad today after a bit of a break. He's not doing well. I've been in contact with homecare and they cannot transfer his file to the local area homecare as he is unstable. He continues to have behavior issues and outbursts. Because home care cannot be transferred yet, they cannot get long term care involved either. Which is what needs to happen to move him into a nursing home. Of course there are wait lists, another assessment (ffs) etc. It's all extremely frustrating and depressing honestly. Yesterday apparently he moved his bed into the hallway and was going to move down the hall. Likely into his friends room. I've been at a breaking point for awhile and it's only going to get worse. There is nothing I can do to help him or fix him. Tonight we are going to visit after work. I'm not looking forward to it at all. I get anxiety attacks on the way. I really don't want to stay long, even though I feel a bit better a

One year

It's officially been one year since Dad moved back to Winnipeg. It was an incredibly difficult year for all of us. I am thankful that he is being taken care of for the most part. We are still trying to figure out how to get back to who we were. Somedays are easier than others. Daily financial matters weigh on my mind. I spend a lot of time sighing. It's hard to shut it off. I don't want him to get evicted. But I also need to get my shit together. I think maybe this is my turning point. He's safe for now. Time to move on. One thing I would like to mention is that I feel extremely guilty when I don't see him during the week. As well it seems everytime I go and see him he has some kinda of outburst. I'm not sure if there is a correlation. Because of this guilt, if I know someone in the family has gone and seen him that week, it allows me to relax. If you go and see him please let me know. This week my cousin is going to visit him, and my Mom as well.

Things are turning a bit

In the last week we've got two calls to calm down dad. Both of which my lovely wife dealt with. For two reasons. One she is closer. Two I honestly can't fucking deal anymore. We are and will be always taking care of him. It seems weird to me that this is the case. They want him as a zombie basically. From my lunch with him and some of Jens interactions in the last few days, dad can't leave anymore atleast not for awhile. He keeps thinking he can just go for a "walk to the place , beyond the hill, to see the guy". I can pick him up and take him back,but walking is out of the question. As well having something to redirect him with just in case (doesn't matter what it is, newspaper a book, just have it in your car ready to distract). They called today and we didn't answer. It was probably something that was nothing. That's 3 calls in four days. We are on call, as soon as he gets out of line. It's no way to live. They say to care for someon