My Dad Showed Up On Our Doorstep

 We moved dad on the 20th.  I honestly didn't have a lot of time to worry about how he was going to take it.  We got up early and grabbed some things, met Ikea at the new place.  Put together a bunch of new furniture.  Ran home grabbed more stuff. My mom picked him up and took him out in the afternoon and met us later in the day. When we walked him into to show him the new place he was dumbfounded that we did all of it for him. I've spent the last few days worrying about him and how he is doing.  You are not supposed to visit for 3 days and I think that is for the sake of both parties honestly. I don't know how to be myself again, or talk about things that are not dad related.  We spent a year basically just talking or doing dad stuff.  Getting back to some kind of normal is going to take awhile. We received a message from the care worker, he's doing well and has made some friends! Halejuah!   I will be visiting him once a week to check in on him. It has been suggested

 I am feeling extremely guilty.  I think I will feel like that for awhile.  This is not going to be easy whatsoever.  The good news is I am going to have lots of help.  I've spoked to quite a lot of people to figure out how to go about this properly.  There is no "right" way to do it.  Obviously moving at Christmas isn't the best.  But honestly we are done, we can't handle it anymore.  As well, we are not celebrating Christmas.  He doesn't have a clue that it's Christmas.  One week isn't going to make any difference whatsoever.   I know he's going to be extremely mad at me.  That will pass in time.  Hopefully.  I am going to check in with the place and see how he's doing.  I know we need to take some time off.  Likely at least 3 days.  There is a good chance I'll go and see him either on the 24th or the 25th.   I spoke with my wifes parents last night.  They say we are doing a good job, and if it happened to them they would know that we are

 Looks like we will be moving dad next week with some help from my family.  I'm so thankful for everyone.  I'm thankful for this place. He is going to have a good time once he gets settled. After we checked out the new digs we went and purchased a bunch of furniture for him The real key is to keep him busy while we get everything done behind his back. I know.... Talking with the nice people at the place, the suggestion is to not tell him he is moving but to basically drop him off.  We are not supposed to see him for a few days.  This whole thing is eating away at me.  But it honestly makes sense.  When we went to do the tour they suggested just us two and to not bring him because he may not like it and won't want to come back. I think he will do really well, he's going to be in a spot with lots of people like him and all talkative outgoing.  There is so much to do, I doubt he will be bored. It sucks doing this at Christmas.  But honestly Christmas is so far from my mind

 Yesterday my wife and my mom went to check out a supportive housing place.  They had to do another assessment.  It was emotional and difficult but went well. Sounds like the place is very nice.   Looks like they will admit him. From what I gather we can move him in sometime in late December.  Now to explain it. He thought he was there for a job interview.  When he came home he thought that my wife was moving in there. I know the idea of moving him before Christmas is a bit crazy,but honestly we are not celebrating at all this year.  We are just too tired. We will probably have to buy some furniture and things. I'm so thankful for my wife and my mom for doing that. It's a temporary solution, not long term affordable.  He will get paneled and then be on a list for better care moving forward. It sorta is like time served. He's been in a good mood the last few days and more present.  I think because he has had things to do and people to meet.  I feel like this will be really g

 Came upstairs this morning to go to the bathroom and get ready for work.  He's busy slamming drawers in his room.  SOMEONE STOLE HIS WALLET!  I calmly said, I need to go and I can help you afterwards.   Everything is a fight.  Went to the doctor yesterday, which wasn't great.  I talked with the doctor myself for a few minutes.  Told him he wasn't taking his pills etc.  Asked what was next for us.  We can technically drop him off at emergency and just say "we are done, caregiver failure".  By the sounds of it, it would not be a long term respite just a couple of days.  The doctor didn't have any notes about home care, basically he's waiting.  We can technically expedite the process by dropping him off.  I talked about the bank and how they need something in writing.  He said he would gladly sign a piece of paper for the bank as dad should not be writing cheques.  Unfortunately  no official diagnosis.  I'm honestly pissed off that no one will pull the t

I went for a walk this morning.  I've been trying to do that daily, but there are days it just doesn't work.  It sometimes the only real peace that I get.  Yesterday was the first of two days off back to back in a long while.  It was an alright day, however as is typical Dad takes up a lot of space and time.  Which is fine, it just makes relaxing or really getting anything done difficult.   I do have a few brief updates that I'll do my best to explain:  Yesterday the nice lady from home care stopped by to sign the paperwork for what is called PHC. She asked a few questions about Dad's habits, drinking, wandering etc.  I was honest and said that he's been drinking a little less but it's hard to manage what he is upto when we are not home during the day.  The whole conversation was quite awkward due to him standing in the room with us.  We have two current possibilities for getting Dad better care than we can provide.  One of them is PHC, which is thru homecare.