Skip to main content

Upcoming assessment nerves

We have finally booked the assessment.   My wife talked to the guy who will be doing it, and he seems very nice.  Having heard from a few other people this is an extremely difficult meeting.  I am on the fence as to wether it will just be Dad & I or, all 3 of us.  Part of me wants her there for my own sake.  However he seems to open up more when I'm the only one around.  I'm still thinking it over. 

To a degree she has become the "bad guy".  Which is problematic.  She is the one that tells him to have a shower, change his underwear daily, etc.  There have been a few random arguments.  Just the other day he had made himself a fried egg sandwhich and then promptly washed the smoking hot frying pan.  Which warps it.  It's already super warped, so it's not going to get any worse. 

I was sitting on the deck and overheard the conversation.  (mild argument).  This ended up with him going for a walk, and then going straight to bed.  This left me in a terrible mood.  Part of the reason is I know both sides of the story.  He's basically reverting to a child, and she is worried about her things.  Telling him multiple times will not solve anything as he won't remember.  I spend most of my time making sure there is peace in the house.  

I am not allowed to have a bad day, or be off.  I have put this on myself.  When I get to the point that I can't handle it anymore, I just nap.  It's the easiest thing to do.

Unfortunately you really need to just place your own needs, mental health aside until things get figured out.   I understand that you can't really care if your glass is half full (or whatever that metaphor is).  I'm doing my best. 

I know I need to break it to him about the assessment.  This has been on my mind for months.  Part of me thinks I tell him the day before and the day of because he won't remember at all.  Part of me thinks I need to break it to him gently over the course of the next week.  It will likely be between the two things. 

I have no actual time for myself really.  A long time ago, we made an agreement to not have kids, be selfish and create our own life.  We are not in anyway prepared to deal with this.  Every day, week gets harder.  I used to enjoy playing music, and D&D.  That's kinda gone out the window.  Every waking moment I have is trying to navigate this situation.  I'm either thinking about things I need to do, doing the things, keeping the peace, etc.  

I'm worried about myself to be honest.  I keep thinking "I'll relax when this or that happens".  



Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Notes for assessment

 I made some notes for the assessment folks, basic changes in the way he is.  I should note, this is rather depressing.  He gets fixated on something, and that is the only thing for a week or more.  At some point it changes to a new thing.  Examples include      • Using the phone, calling anyone in his phone book no matter that time of day (or day for that matter.  He calls people when they are at work).      • Trying to get a job.           ◦ Numerous times he’s gone to Fresh co, thinking he picked up an application, only to be sent home with a scene card membership form.       • Trying to sell his car.  (he doesn’t remember doing.  He believes the government took his license and car away).   He doesn’t know our names.  He thinks I am his brother.  He believes my wife is my sister somedays.  Other days just a relative.  He calls me “buddy...
Post a Comment
Read more

I'm overwhelmed

I'm overwhelmed.  The loss of my dog is not helping the situation.  I'm slowly dragging my heels on things, because I'm worried about how my Dad is going to react.   We have started the paperwork to do home care, likely 3 times a week.  They would come in and make sure he eats and takes his pills.  My thought was mon-wed.  I'm home on thursday and the day program would be friday.  As well it looks like we are setup for a day program (well we will be when I make the call).  I am always making the calls.  To the point that I can't remember if I called someone or not.   The day program will be once a week.   It looks like we do not qualify for any respite whatsoever.  For the simple sake that he is extremely independent.  I know he is going to fight me on all of this.  And it fucking sucks.  Like it really fucking sucks.  Which is why I have difficulty making these calls.  I've got a meeting...
1 comment
Read more

The story so far

I knew my Dad was having some issues every time I talked to him.  It got to the point where I was worrying all the time and feeling anxious about calling him.  He was attempting to sell his condo but was having some difficulty.  I finally decided that enough was enough and I sent him a letter stating that I was very worried about him and that when he sold his condo I would come and pick him up.  Every time I talked to him he told me "oh it's sold I'm moving back to Manitoba".   I may post the letter at some point. He had mentioned that he was going to move in with his "cousin" (family friend of his).   I was worried he would just show up on her door step.  Instead he showed up on ours, one morning.  March 24th to be exact.  The first few weeks he was here, he was pretty tired and broken.  We spent a lot of time trying to get the condo sale dealt with, and jumping from thing to thing trying to get him into a place.  That's ...
Post a Comment
Read more