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Initial Home Care Visit

Yesterday we had our initial meeting with Mrs. V.  She's an amazing caring lady.  I had mentioned to Dad in the last few days that we were going to be having a meeting.  He always seems to think it's about me, and not him when I initially bring it up.  

He asked why, and I said "they just want to come and check on us".   He was starting to get agitated again the closer we got to the meeting.  "I don't want to talk to that fucking lady again! What is this for?".  I reiterated the it being about checking on us. 

I should note, he is talking about the assessment done by a Man when he says "fucking lady".  That was obviously traumatizing. 

Mrs. V was quite amicable and they got along very well.  She did a bit of an assessment as well, and we talked about a lot of things.  Some stuff was previously covered.  I'm happy that we are getting a team built here.  This is good. 

There is only so much Home Care can do.  

1.  Make lunch 

2.  Make sure he takes his pills (which I'm going to have to get bubble packed from the pharmacy.  Another thing I'm not looking forward to). 

3.  Day Program! 

This is the thing we settled on as a start.  Dad is a people person and getting him out once or twice a week is going to be really good for him.  Part of the reason he drinks, is because he's bored out of his fucking mind.  Honestly that's a lot of the reason why i drink.  

Trust me, I see similarities and it's not good.  I'm going to have to make a change.  At this point though, just getting thru the day to day is the best that I can do. 

Dad frequently went off topic when asked about certain things.  He kept talking about being a salesman and a tradesperson.  Mrs. V would ask a question, he wouldn't hear her and keep talking about fire hydrants.  

The thing about the lunches is that we are going to have to get that sorta prepped.  Likely going to start buying the prepacked stuff from Sobeys. 

I am really concerned that he is going to hate all of this.  I wish he would just be cool with it.  I get it though.  

Later in the day I went out and grabbed him a new mattress and paid another chunk to CRA.  I spoke with Mrs. V for about 18 minutes while I was having a brief lunch break. 

I cried.

She is just so fantastic.  We talked about supportive housing being the best bet.  She is going to forward me some places.  

We have been filling out all kinds of applications for all these different places.  Basically throwing shit at the fan.  I have realized that some of those places are probably not the best.  I do get that it would be good for all of us to go back to some kinda of normal.  The rush to find a place is concerning somedays for me.  I want to find the right place, which is what I told Mrs. V 

The thing about the supportive housing is there's a gate.  They are there and can't leave.  It's not assisted living in that he is free to basically do what he wants (sorta).  Food, laundry, etc.  

The biggest thing is the common room. 

Besides, I need him out of my house at some point, he's attempting to build stupid things because he's bored.  It's my house. 

My to do list is still never ending.  I told Mrs. V that we are very overwhelmed with everything.  unfortunately  home care isn't going to be the reprieve we are looking for.  Except the day program.  

But it's a start.  I'm feeling a bit more positive today than I have been.  The more people on the team the better. 

I still have to get some menial things done, eye, hearing, dentist tests and appointments.  Next week his Doc wants him to go for a stress test, which i"m concerned about.  Another anxiety moment of trying explain that to him. 

I also have to get him a medic alert bracelet.  I hope like hell he wears it.  The nice thing is if he gets lost and the police find him, they will just bring him home. 

One thing I told Mrs. V is that I'm very worried about the winter.  Him walking all over the fucking place isn't good.  Us being cooped up in our small house together isn't good. 



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