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Much needed respite.

Most of last week was an utter shit show.  The combination of not being on anti depressants and drinking just left him in a terrible mood.  There was many little instances after the initial getting drunk in the basement incident (see last post).   It has gotten to the point where my wife doesn't even talk to him anymore. 

I can understand why I've been having such a hard time with anxiety lately, specifically at work.  the whole "things are beyond your control" thing.  

My wife wrote up the going's on from last week and sent it to the clinician.  

Yesterday I finally got some good news.  Spoke with his doc, they are on it.  The WHRA is getting a plan in place.  Unfortunately I do not know all the details yet.  I also spoke with home care, and they are coming for an initial visit next week.  I am hoping so very much that he is okay with it and let's them in the house.  I think having someone else here knowing what's going on is going to help move things forward.

I managed to make a large payment on his income tax owing.  Still without a debit card (seriously the bank can go f*** itself at this point).  I have setup a PAD for payments for 2024.  Apparently I cannot do anything correctly.  So the plan is every month after they pull a payment I have to call them to tell them to move the payment from next year to this year owing.  I can't do this online yet as I don't have online banking access.  I spent a good 5 hours on the phone in the last week only to be told they were closing the online account as it was fraudulent for me to do it.  They said he could create a new account if he likes.  SURE!  He's totally going to do that.  

Oh and you can't make a payment with a visa.  I've got a new one coming, which we are going to close and have them send a cheque.  Which I will then turn into a payment. 

In speaking with the clinician yesterday he was saying that we are basically going above and beyond at this point, trying out best to contact anyone and everything to make things happen. 

I worry very much about my wife.  She's been having a very rough go the last week. 

Some comfort was that this past saturday my cousin picked him up for the day.  He stayed over night at my aunt's house and was in quite an amazing mood when we got home. 

We got respite.  We danced in our living room.  I ended up having a big cry later in the evening.  Everything just hit me all at once.  It was our old life again, just for a moment.  It was wonderful.  

I also thinks its good for other people to understand just what it is we are going thru.  An hour or two here and there is totally cool and do able.  When you spend upwards of 10 hours answering the same questions and hearing the same stories that is when it becomes mind numbing. 

In speaking with my cousin, my Dad got along really good with her little guy.  She intends to pick him up to watch hockey games this winter that the little guy is playing in.  This will be a nice break for my wife on Saturdays. 

These little things are great.  Hopefully when we get some home care happening, we will have even more respite. 

Last night I went to band practice.  Left a bit earlier and got home super late.  Dad stayed up and waited for me.  You can't take the "dad" out of him despite him loosing his mind.  I walked into a minefield when I got home.  I had left a forensic show on because I thought it would keep him occupied and give my wife some space.  

What ended up happening is he watched it all night at full volume which just drove her nuts.  

I had come to the conclusion that telling him I'll be home at a specific time isn't a good idea.  I'm on the fence about continuing to go to practice.  





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