Dec 7th update

I went for a walk this morning.  I've been trying to do that daily, but there are days it just doesn't work.  It sometimes the only real peace that I get.  Yesterday was the first of two days off back to back in a long while.  It was an alright day, however as is typical Dad takes up a lot of space and time.  Which is fine, it just makes relaxing or really getting anything done difficult.  

I do have a few brief updates that I'll do my best to explain: 

Yesterday the nice lady from home care stopped by to sign the paperwork for what is called PHC. She asked a few questions about Dad's habits, drinking, wandering etc.  I was honest and said that he's been drinking a little less but it's hard to manage what he is upto when we are not home during the day. 

The whole conversation was quite awkward due to him standing in the room with us. 

We have two current possibilities for getting Dad better care than we can provide.  One of them is PHC, which is thru homecare.  Basically the idea is he stays at a nursing home for 2 to 6 weeks to give us a much needed break.  During this time he won't be able to leave which may prove problematic.  After the term is up he will go thru one more assessment and then we will have a better idea of what is to happen moving forward. 

The paperwork is currently being submitted.  I have some heavy anxiety on how to explain this to him.  Whichever day I am finally sitting at home by myself I will likely just be a potato and cry most of the day.  My aunt took him for an overnight awhile ago, and I had a break down that night.

The other thing that home care suggested was trying to get him into this expensive supportive housing place (which is legit on the other side of the city).  Of course they need to do an assessment as well.  I wish I knew that the initial assessment was not the only one we would have to go thru.  They only do these assessments on weekends (I work weekends).  My wife and my Mom are going to take him.  The hope is he will be comfortable with them. 

If it goes well, I will take him on a tour next week.  They don't like to do both on the same day. 

As far as money goes, this won't be a long term solution.  But my thought is he saved the money for retirement he might as well enjoy it while he can.  The place is locked up with a fence so he can't leave.  However I'm sure he will forget about that once he is around a bunch of people.  As well I think partially the drinking and wandering is because he's bored.  It makes sense to me. 

This place is a step towards eventually moving into a nursing home.  That said if he hangs out there for a year and has fun that's great. 

The other thing I did yesterday was go down to the day program location and pay them for the last couple of weeks.  I spoke with one of the ladies at the program and she said he has a LOT of fun when he is there.  He bounces off the bus and is smiling when he walks in. 

This is good news.  Despite the fact that last week my wife reminded him about it and he said "Oh that again???? What if I want to do other things during the day?".  To which she replied "well you have the rest of the week to do things, go and have fun".  Or something along those lines. 

The fact that he is having fun at the program gives me some relief.  And hope that he will be alright being out of our house and in a place where people can take care of him.  We can't anymore, we are just too exhausted. 

Today we have a "check up" appointment with his doctor.  Afterwards I have to have a serious conversation with him about everything.  I am going to sit and make some notes shortly.   

It's honestly never-ending.