My Dad Showed Up On Our Doorstep

 Sunday morning  I found out that my Dad's younger sister passed away.  I broke it to him in the morning.  It wasn't easy.   She passed away from a stroke and she had dementia as well. (This obviously worries me about my dad, the rest of my family, myself). We went thru pictures of her and talked a lot.  Afterwards he went out for a walk.  I'm sure it was extremely stressful.   I hadn't seen her in awhile, but I miss her as well.  She was always a happy person whenever I saw her. Sunday afternoon  Went out this morning to do a few things, then came home to dad saying "we need to talk". Typically this is usually a bad thing when someone says that to you. It was a good thing.  Although sad.  I did set that aside though. I run upstairs to talk with him in another room.  Didn't get my jacket off. He was abit upset, he said that he knows he's getting worse.  Getting more forgetful. I told him it's okay, I know an...

Yesterday we had our initial meeting with Mrs. V.  She's an amazing caring lady.  I had mentioned to Dad in the last few days that we were going to be having a meeting.  He always seems to think it's about me, and not him when I initially bring it up.   He asked why, and I said "they just want to come and check on us".   He was starting to get agitated again the closer we got to the meeting.  "I don't want to talk to that fucking lady again! What is this for?".  I reiterated the it being about checking on us.  I should note, he is talking about the assessment done by a Man when he says "fucking lady".  That was obviously traumatizing.  Mrs. V was quite amicable and they got along very well.  She did a bit of an assessment as well, and we talked about a lot of things.  Some stuff was previously covered.  I'm happy that we are getting a team built here.  This is good.  There is only so much Home Care can ...

We have all now been relegated to separate rooms of the house.  I am currently in the basement working on music.  My wife is in the bedroom reading a book.  Dad has know taken over the living room as his bedroom, due to his back hurting.   He doesn't have any empathy left.  He doesn't give one fuck about us or what we are doing, or if he is making anything difficult.  It's because he doesnt' know any better at this point.  I get it, honestly I do. Lord help us get thru the winter.   Apparently his back has been bugging him.  He blames it on the bed.  I'm going out to buy him a new mattress on Wednesday.  Another thing to do on Wednesday.   The other day I came home from work and he had big plans to put an old 2x4 he found in the backlane up on the ceiling of the basement so he could hang his tools.  you know "so we could get at them if we need them". I said to him, that I didn't really want to put anything u...

Most of last week was an utter shit show.  The combination of not being on anti depressants and drinking just left him in a terrible mood.  There was many little instances after the initial getting drunk in the basement incident (see last post).   It has gotten to the point where my wife doesn't even talk to him anymore.  I can understand why I've been having such a hard time with anxiety lately, specifically at work.  the whole "things are beyond your control" thing.   My wife wrote up the going's on from last week and sent it to the clinician.   Yesterday I finally got some good news.  Spoke with his doc, they are on it.  The WHRA is getting a plan in place.  Unfortunately I do not know all the details yet.  I also spoke with home care, and they are coming for an initial visit next week.  I am hoping so very much that he is okay with it and let's them in the house.  I think having someone else here knowing...

 Monday was a shit show.  Before I got home my wife saw dad outside without his bike.  She asked where it was.  He sold it.  She told him that it wasn't his to sell.  We lent it to him.   He got mad and stormed off. By the time I got home he was walking in the door with two bottles of wine.  I got her side of the story. I went down to talk to him and he was irate.  Said she called him names , he called her a bad word.  I was calm, listened and replied with "she didn't say that" etc. He said he was just going to sit downstairs and drink himself to death. I let him cool off while we had supper. After an hour I went and checked on him.  The whole time I was worried. We talked and he was better.  He's Lonely and depressed.  We ended up sitting downstairs for awhile and then moved up. My poor wife stayed away and sat in the bedroom.  Our house is too small. After talking with her the last few days we've come to the co...

 Sticking with the usual theme he's trying to find a job and wants to buy a car.  Likely before winter. I can't find the time to work on housing applications or other things.  I feel guilty when I take time off for myself.  Yesterday I slept most of the day and I'm still exhausted. Tonight I have to find some energy and call his bank.  Hopefully get somewhere. Starting to feel like I need to get some pills.  I dunno. This is difficult. I have no idea how to explain to him we will be putting him in a place. Good news is I have a lot of time, the waitlist are horrendous. He got mad at my wife Saturday and walked all the way to my work to tell me. This isn't good, it's affecting everything including work.